To the women and girls who will never meet your dad, you are already whole. Whenever I hear a story about a girl reuniting with her long lost father that she never knew I get chills. I didn’t have any daddy issues growing up, I just didn’t have a dad and that was Okay. I’m the youngest of 5 girls, who also like me didn’t have active fathers so it was the world I knew. It wasn’t until it was time for me to get married that I noticed the void.

While, I noticed, I didn’t let that consume me or change anything. No one walked me down the aisle and it was okay. I didn’t need a stand-in from anyone, because honestly, I didn’t have uncles or men in the community who ever filled that role. However, there was one man whom I had the utmost respect for and who would listen to my questions when I had them. It was a former pastor of mine who wanted me to go to private school so much so, that he would pick me up each morning from my home in the projects and drive me 30 minutes to a school where I felt intelligent, beautiful, and completely whole.

Stories like these are nice, but honey you were already whole

The video below is a presentation entitled “That Moment I Met My Father For the First Time” by Soul Pancake

What is wholeness?

To me, it is the feeling of worth, value, personal acceptance, and genuine self-love and it doesn’t come from external sources. While wholeness is a full circle where you feel that you are balanced enough to conquer the world, it isn’t something you pick up or catch. Wholeness is innately within you. It oozes internally through the very fiber of your being. It’s not taught, bought, nor sought. To me, these thoughts don’t come from your parentage, but from life experiences. Please take a minute and look in the mirror. You are beautiful and you were born whole.

What made me whole when I was growing up? It wasn’t anything special, wholeness is a mindset and a resolve about who you are. I know who I am, completely.

For those of you who aren’t so convinced, there was something that I took advantage of that also helped me grab my footing in the world and that was reading books about people lives. I loved reading biographies about people who rose above adversity. I figured if I could learn from their experiences, I could achieve many things beyond my personal understanding and grasp. The ability to learn from others and apply those lessons to your own life, will help recognize the queen within you. I’ll also note, that it’s doesn’t have to be books, it could be a teacher, friends, a friend’s parents etc. Be open to learning from others and you will always be able to grown and manifest into the person you were born to become.