Guest Post: Start a New Decade With a Better You


It suddenly struck me as I enjoy the last year of my twenties: I’m going to be 30! Strangely enough, I’m actually excited and almost impatiently waiting to step into my next decade of life. I know other women aren’t quite so enthusiastic about this milestone as I am, but they’re not looking at turning 30 (or another year older) as a chance to better themselves like I am.

In my 30s, I see the things that hold me back from fulfilling my potential far behind me. I see a better me. So, to help me make my vision my reality, I’m making a 30 not for 30 list. It’s a list of 30 burdens, characteristics, and habits that I will lay down before I turn “The BIG 3-0.”

I would have never imagined that making this list would be so challenging, but it’s forcing me to expose my vulnerabilities and recognize the things that are unhealthy in my life. Here are a few things not entering into my 30s:

  • Carrying my mother’s burdens.
  • Being afraid to make mistakes
  • Thinking I’m inadequate.
  • Resenting my father.
  • Fearing the future.
  • Pulling out my eyelashes.
  • Being impatient with my 4 year old.

I get that looking at yourself isn’t always a pleasant experience, but I’m learning how to dwell on the solutions and not the problems. Making a conscious decision to change the things that are holding me back is only the first step. I’ve even shared my list with my bestie so that I can be held accountable for my action (or inaction). The support I get from my best friend in accomplishing my goal self is turning out to be very instrumental in tackling my 30 not for 30 list. One last key to my success is honesty. By being honest about what needs to change, I can see things for what they really are and deal with them in a more effective way.

I understand that some things need more time and effort than others. Although I may not be 100% successful by my 30th birthday, I will be free of these burdens sooner than later because I am determined to conquer these issues.

Put together your own list to help transform you into a better version of yourself, or maybe a list of how to achieve family goals. Remember, you aren’t the only person who benefits from your list.


This guest post was written by my friend, a single mother in grad school making big changes before she turns 30.


I’ve been sharing messages about women’s health this week and this post is so profound and timely. I am approaching 30 too and one day my fears and inadequacies gripped it. I felt chained down to my past, like it was choking the life out of my future. Then, my God’s grace, I wrote down my fears and felt a peace and source of urgency to stop wishing to do better and take steps that make change happen immediately. I started with the easiest things first because I am motivated by progress. Thank you so much for sharing your personal story with me and my readers. This is our year of wholeness. Together let’s remember my mantra for 2012 ““No procrastination, only performance!” WE CAN DO IT!

Reader Response:

Although, we are making a 30 not for 30 list, you are free to revise the name of the list to fit your age and situation. If your are joining us in making the list, we would love for you to share 1 thing below that you plan to conquer. We look forward to hearing from you! The Huffington Post recently published Turning 30: 30 Things Every Woman Should Have And Should Know. Some of my favorites on the list are:

“#10. One friend who always makes you laugh and one who lets you cry.
#13. The belief that you deserve it.
#14. A skin-care regimen, an exercise routine, and a plan for dealing with those few other facets of life that don’t get better after 30.”


While watching Life Class on Oprah’s OWN network, I was glued to the uplifting and empowering messages of the various speakers. Motivational speaker, Tony Ribbons, said several things on the show  I wanted to include in this post because they are important lessons we should apply to our lives such as:

In order to receive a break through in our lives everyone needs the following: (My own thoughts and take away is found

  1. A strategy, a “how to.” (We must have a plan if we want to move forward so we will know how to get where we want to go).
  2. The right story. (Our past can limit and chain us to unfortunate circumstances so reinvent you future).
  3. A different state of mind because your state/attitude determines your new story. (Be positive, affirm yourself, the power to achieve starts in the mind first)


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