If I had one wish, I’d like to be perfect. Recently, I found myself trying to manage my inner thoughts of who I am and who I want to be.
My imperfections list is so long that I tire just thinking about them. The only consolation I feel about it at the end of the day is that I have hope to become better, become wiser, learn something new, change my attitude, and simply live. I don’t want to merrily exist, I want to live up to my full potential. Never-mind, the fact that I am still discovering who I really am. Ideally, there were many goals that I wanted to accomplish before my children were born. There are so many places I wanted to go and so many things I wanted to do, but time was fleeting and I wanted to see how my offspring would look, so I put those desires aside and now I live for them.
On occasions, I still close my eyes and dream. I still surrender my thoughts for a couple of moments to envision myself, all grown-up, successful, a master of my craft. But in reality, I am only a dreamer. A mother with a heart, a supportive wife, and a listening friend. Today, I realize that I have to manage my imperfections and move on (let go and let God). Today, I must speak joy to life, possibilities to my future, acceptance of what already is, and providence to my plans.