I don’t know about you, but sometimes, I need to be reminded of my blessings. The marriage lessons I’ve learned about myself have been the most profound. In fact, these past two weeks I’ve learned some of the biggest lessons of my life. When we go through trying times, I guess that is when we see the hand of God the most.
Not long ago, I was in a car accident. While sitting in the parking lot of a store, a car crashed into my windshield right before my eyes. My children and I were all in the car. Instantly, I saw my life flash before my eyes, and I knew I had to get out of the car or be crushed. Thankfully, we all made it out, but lately, the aches and pains from the accident have been a reminder that before I die, I have a special work to do on this earth. I know in the back of my mind that my earthly fulfillment isn’t entirely complete, just by taking care of my kids and my family. A part of me isn’t ready to take on a larger responsibilities yet, but another part of me craves to fulfill my potential.
I watched Not Easily Broken Twice before I realized change started with me
I remember sitting down with my husband one night watching “Not Easily Broken,” we enjoyed it, I remember that back then in the early years of our marriage there were some similarities I saw in myself and Clarice, Taraji Henson’s, character that came to light while watching the movie. After watching the movie, it was clear to me that I needed to make a few changes in my attitude. It’s no surprise that Clarice, represented a strong, career-driven, beautiful, and intelligent woman. Any women could identify with her character’s attributes.
I recently watched the movie again, alone, and after being married for 11 years. I noticed a lot has changed. I’m no longer as strong-willed and emotionally driven as I use to be. I’m OK with letting my husband lead when it makes sense, and he is OK letting me take charge when my skill-set is better suited. We finally learned how to compromise and support each other. The key to any relationship is to learn how to best care for each other. If both parties are doing his and her best then no one feels neglected or left out.
Not Easily Broken highlights 4 Marriage Lessons That Will Help Grow your marriage
- Establish trust. The most profound message I learned from the movie was to trust each other. Without trust infidelity creeps in gradually. Dave, Morris Chestnut’s, character entertained cheating when he and his wife no longer had trust. In fact, although Clarice didn’t cheat with another lover, she cheated emotionally by letting her mother interrupt the harmony within their relationship. The fact is, trusting your spouse is critically important if you want to have peace of mind within a relationship. If trust remains between the two of you, then you both can conquer mountains together.
- Learn how to communicate peacefully. Yelling and throwing fits while upset is not communication. Learn how to discuss likes and dislikes before you are ever in a rage.
- Support each other’s dreams. Our lives are not stagnant. We all live with hopes and dreams, but hopefully, our partner is willing to help us reach our goals. If not, both people are not aligned. Together you have to give a little and take a little to balance the relationship. Clarice wanted support, but she wasn’t willing to give support. Instead of belittling her husband she needed to find out how she could help him become his best self.
- Be on one accord. In the movie the husband really wanted to have a child, but he and his wife were not even able to communicate without their mother-in-law interjecting in their affairs. Thankfully, a child wasn’t in the mix yet because their communication was sporadic and chaotic. Frankly, children can see when their parents disagree about everything. They can easily sense when something is off, sometimes their response to what’s going on is to act-out. Therefore, uniting in actions is important. If possible before you have kids together make sure you both are on one accord.
I smile when I look back and think about how much our love has grown. Taking time to find areas where we needed to make changes has made all the difference. Being patient and supporting each other has kept our marriage together. In fact now, that we have committed these marriage lessons to our lives we feel inseparable.
Is there an area in your marriage that you’ve seen growth. If so, how has it made a difference in your life?
If you want to see me smile, ask ...