It’s Hard To Let Go: Children Sleeping on Their Own

When my children first came home from the hospital they slept in a bassinet in our room. It was easier for me to feed them during the night.  As they grew older, I tried to transition them to the crib in their room.  Elle took to the crib well. For now, she appears to be the most independent of the two, but Maya was smaller and had the worse little fits when I put her in the crib.  Because of her small size, I figured she needed to be closer to me and nurtured continuously so I slept in her room in a bed beside her.

As she got older, I would leave the room after she fell asleep. Now that she is older and can understand when I tell her to stay in bed and close her eyes she understands, but hates for me to leave.  Recently, Elle joins in on the tearful party and it crushes me.  I hate to hear my children cry, but I don’t want them to be spoiled and bent on having their own way. Reader, it is hard to let go.

I recognize that I have to give my children everything they need, including firm consistence.  It is important for me to recognize that they have strong wills, but they too must let go and trust Mom and Dad to guide them in the way they should grow.  I can see that if I allow them to get out bed after they have a fit, they will grow up thinking that crying and acting out of control is the golden ticket to all of their wants.

Parents it’s hard, but we have to stand firm.  The tiny lessons they are learning during these toddler years will affect their future behavior.  I like an article that I found on twinparenthood.com, Kathryn Whiteley, uses the “wake up light system,” I am going to try the method she outlines and let you know how it works for my children. For now, my husband and I can bet on having little visitors in our rooms when they wake up in the wee hours of the morning.

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  • You sound like are a mom that knows the value of consistency. That is the key to the Wake Up Light System(TM). It is heart wrenching to hear them cry when we leave the room — and it gets so much better when they have a tool like a light to help them know when it is okay to get up. I love how you said it, “Parents it’s hard, but we have to stand firm. The tiny lessons they are learning during these toddler years will affect their future behavior.”

    Where we live, it is light in the summer when they go to bed and light when they wake up — so how are they to know when it is okay to get up? And in the winter it is the opposite, dark when they go to bed, dark when they get up in the morning.

    Thanks for visiting my website and trying out the Wake Up Light System. I hope it will be as successful for you as it has been for us!

    Kathyn

    • elle

      Thanks Kathryn for the encouraging words. My girls are sleeping through the night on their own now. It was difficult hearing them cry, but now they are used to going to bed without Mommy at their side.

  • Thx for this usefull post , your blog deserves to come in my bookmark list.

  • Ana

    I always read the book “I’ll see you in the morning” by Mike Jolley and Mique Moriuchi to my daughter before bed. I think it really helps with the transition. It’s a lovely book about how the night is a blanket for everything, and it has a strong theme of how you the parent are right down the hall, so it’s okay for them to go to sleep, you will see them in the morning. I hope this helps.

  • Hi Elle, I love your blog and this article is soo very true. I have 5 kids and my two youngest are 19 months and 3years old. My two oldest kids did great with cribs. I’m following you from MBC. Please visit me at Healthy Living & A Balanced You. http://www.AliciaHunter.net
    Have a Great Week!
    Alicia~

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