The first few months of marriage can be exciting, passionate and fun. As time goes on, the newness wears off and it’s easy to “get used” to each other. It may sound contrary, but it is possible to get too comfortable with your spouse. After years of living together you can often finish each other’s sentences, order for your spouse and get into a routine.
While there are a lot of good things about the fact that you are that comfortable together, you may start to feel like the romance is gone from your relationship. Instead of spending an hour picking out the perfect restaurant or choosing which pair of shoes you are going to wear, date nights often turn into a Netflix marathon in your jammies once the kids are in bed.
While there is certainly nothing wrong with taking what you can get (lack of babysitters or financial restraints may limit choices), finding time to add a little spark back into your marriage can give your relationship a much-needed boost. If you want to bring back the excitement from the early days, here are a few things you can do to put pizzazz back into your relationship and have your significant other fall in love with you all over again:
Finding time to spend away from kids, smartphones, and television often gets put on the back-burner. Consider registering for a dance class or a cooking class that you can take together. Not only will you learn a new skill, you will be more likely to set aside this time as a couple since you’ve already paid for it. Use your new class as an excuse to get away from the little ones and enjoy time learning something new that you can do together.
Have a “remember-when” date:
Create a romantic evening with your spouse by using elements from past dates or important days in your relationship. You could start the night off with the same dinner you had on your first date or at your wedding, take a walk to the same place you became engaged, watch a movie or choose an activity that is meaningful to you as a couple. Finish the night by looking through old photographs, reading old wedding cards or watching family videos and laughing about good memories.
In addition to remember-when date nights, my wife and I have a ‘Then and Now’ picture frame that we keep on our kitchen counter. We update the photos every few months to keep it fresh and meaningful. Keeping these kinds of nostalgic mementos around the house can serve as a frequent reminder to take a step back and remember how much you both love each other.
Get your sexy on:
The Huffington Post reported on a study that shows couples who have sex more often report higher marital satisfaction. On average, married couples under 30 have sex about twice a week. By the time couples reach 50, the average drops to once a week or less. While sex certainly isn’t the most important factor in a healthy relationship, it does have an impact. Find time to hit the hay with your spouse and you may find that you are laughing more.
Flirt with your spouse:
Bring out the old-flirt in you and start tossing out pickup lines. Compliment their outfit, hair or whatever else you like. Flirting is a great way to bring that jittery-excited feeling back into your relationship. Make sure you aren’t only flirting to get your spouse in the mood. Flirting is a great way to boost their self-esteem and confidence in your relationship.
Life can get busy and stressful. When someone is running out the door to the office, shuttling kids to activities, cleaning up spills, folding laundry, correcting homework, working out, paying bills or unloading groceries, it’s not only difficult to find time to talk, it can also be overwhelming and lonely. Find little ways to uplift your partner by leaving notes in their lunch, surprising them with a special gift for no reason or picking up their chore for the day. For many couples “The dishes are washed and put away,” or “I already took the garbage out” works as well as those pickup lines you used to grab their attention early in your relationship.
Marriage is hard. Relationships are hard. As time goes on it can be difficult to feel that old passion that you felt when the relationship was new. Taking steps to heat up your marriage can add that jolt of excitement you need to keep your marriage strong and both you and your spouse happy.
This post was shared by Hank McKinsey a Stay At Home Dad from HomeByHank. Scroll down, to read his complete bio.
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